


Second Chance

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-19
Updated: 2008-03-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:12:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian thinks his life is over when Justin dies? But did Justin die?? Brian knows what he had and this time around he is going to make sure that Justin falls for him and that it stays that way no matter what he has to do.





	1. Gone Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Brian walked with his arm around Justin's shoulders. He couldn't believe that Justin had come back to him. He still felt like beating the crap out of Ethan but not as much as before. Justin was with him and this time he wasn't going to let him get away. He knew he was in love with Justin even if he wasn't ready to say it out loud yet. He would have time. He had all the time in the world.

"Brian!" Justin yelled.

"What are you..." Brian tried to ask but he didn’t have time to finish the question.

Brian hit the ground hard and turned to look at why Justin had pushed him wishing he hadn't. He watched the black pick-up truck hitting Justin’s lithe body. He watched as Justin's body hit the ground. He watched as his life was thorn from him.

***

Brian opened his eyes and took a deep breath when he found himself in the loft. Justin wasn't there. Justin had died one month ago and he still couldn't pull himself together. He rolled in bed to Justin's side and started to remember his little blond boy until the door to the loft opened.

"Brian!" Michael called for his friend.

Brian closed his eyes again and hoped Michael would go away.

"Wake up, Brian. You’re going to be late for work,” Michael said.

"I'm not going to work after what happened, Michael,” Brian replied.

"What happened?" Michael asked.

"You know what I am talking about. Justin," Brian informed him getting a bit angry. He didn’t want the man playing dumb.

"Who the hell is Justin? What the fuck are you talking about? God, Brian what the fuck did Anita sell you this time?" Michael asked.

"What?" Brian asked confused.

"Exactly my point, now go get a shower and get ready. You have to take me to work and I don't want to be late again,” Michael told him.

"Late, but you are..." Brian stopped talking and looked at Michael. He then realized that Michael was well dressed with tie and everything. Why would Mikey be dressed to go work at the Comic Shop?, he asked himself. He went into the bathroom and took a cold shower. Maybe he would feel better.

When he came back Michael was serving him guava juice and Brian noticed a few new things at his loft. More like a few old things he used to have before. He didn't know what to fucking think anymore.

"What the fuck is going on?" Brian asked.

Michael looked up at him like he was crazy. "Brian, what's wrong with you?"

"How did you get here, Michael?" Brian asked.

"I drove the Jeep. Last night you were so wasted that I had to bring you here and then drive myself home,” Michael told him.

Brian frowned and asked, "The Jeep?"

"Yeah, that would be your car. Do you remember your most prize possession?" Michael asked looking at Brian with a worried expression.

"Not the 'vette?" Brian asked.

"What?" Michael inquired with a frown.

"Never mind,” Brian said rubbing the back of his head.

"Brian, you are acting very weird,” Michael let him know.

"What about Ben?" Brian asked. He had so many questions as to what was going on.

"Who the hell is Ben?" Michael asked. "Are these some of your tricks? And how come you remember their names?"

"No David either I guess,” Brian muttered.

"Who? What? Brian, stop it. Just stop it,” Michael said annoyed.

"Right, okay let me get ready,” Brian told him. He needed to find out what the fuck was going on.

Michael nodded.

And hour later they were coming out of the building. Brian drove Michael to work and was stunned to say the least. He had taken Michael to his old job at the big Q.

He didn't know what was happening anymore. When he got to his office he was surprise to see that Ryder was still his boss. He was going nuts. It had to be a dream. What else it could be, thought Brian.

He looked around his office but there wasn't any sign of Justin. Nothing at all from the man he loved and had lost. Brian sat on his chair and cried.

***

Brian asked for another beer and pushed away the empty bottle. He felt an arm around him and looked up to see Michael smiling at him. Brian in the other hand only saw Emmett with his pink top and tangerine leather pants and Brian could have cried with happiness.

"It hasn't happen yet,” Brian gasped out.

"What hasn't?" Ted asked.

"Oh Emmett,” Brian said hugging him.

‘He's gone nuts’ mouthed Emmett to the others that just stood there shaken by Brian's behavior.

"I owe you one. I wouldn't have know because of everyone dresses the same all the time. You, Emmett you look fabulous."

"Thanks, I think,” Emmett muttered not sure what was going on with Brian.

"I have to go. No wait, I'll go when you guys are ready to leave. Wait, ten minutes after that at least. Yeah, yeah," Brian started talking really fast, his words made no sense.

"He's been acting like this all day,” Michael said to Ted.

"You know what? I think I was dancing with that guy,” Brian whispered.

"What guy?" Michael asked but Brian was already gone.

"There you go, honey, he is back,” Emmett said laughing with Ted.

Brian danced with the trick and then another and another until he was sure he had the right one. By then Michael and the guys wanted to leave and he was sure that things were going on perfectly his way. He took the trick and pulled him to the backroom. Brian smiled when Michael found him and told them they wanted to go.

Brian told him it would only take a couple of minutes and afterwards left, not out of boredom this time. This time he was too excited. He was going to have Justin in a couple of minutes. He was going to get to kiss him and love him little by little until he was ready to say it.

When he got there the guys were waiting for him. He walked to the Jeep threw his coat in the Jeep and waited for Justin. But the thing was that Justin never showed up. Brian started at the lamppost for the longest time hoping that Justin would walk there and leaned against it. He was seriously starting to think that he was going crazy and that Michael was right.

"Can we please go?" Michael asked. “What the fuck are we standing here for?”

"Yeah, I have to work tomorrow,” Emmett said.

Michael's phone started ringing. When he hung up he was smiling from ear to ear and looking at Brian. Brian knew it had to do with his son being born.

"My son is being born,” Michael said.

Brian looked at him like he was crazy. This couldn't be happening. "What?"

"Melanie is about to have the baby we have to go,” Michael informed them.

"Oh shit, I will follow you guys to the hospital,” Ted said to them.

Brian got in the Jeep and drove Michael to the hospital. They went inside and saw the little girl and looked at Lindsey that was smiling non-stop. They were the ones that were supposed to be having a baby not Melanie and Michael.

"Take a picture of us,” Michael instructed him.

The picture was taken.

Brian turned around and left. He didn't know what had happened to his world. His life had been perfect and now he couldn't have it back. He could feel his tears rolling down his face but kept on walking until he reached the parking lot.

"Hey, the world is really big, but at the same time so little,” the old lady said and kept on walking.

Brian looked at her for a while but didn't think anything of what she was saying. It didn't make sense at all. Brian got in the Jeep and drove to the loft. First thing in the morning he was going to find Justin. He had to be somewhere and he was going to bring back his blond.


	2. Completely Insane

Brian came inside the loft and closed the door. He dropped his coat and his briefcase on the couch before he moved to his desk. He turned on his computer, sat down, rolled back his sleeves, took a deep breath and once again started his search.

Brian had searched every site relating to other dimensions and anything paranormal. He couldn’t believe all the shit he was reading but there had to be an explanation as to why no one else seemed to remember Justin.

The brunet looked at the books that were cluttering his desk. He read some of the titles and took a deep breath. Brian asked himself if it was true that Michael was right. That he might have completely lost his mind. Maybe he had taken too many drugs and his brain wasn’t functioning the right way. Maybe Justin was a dream of what he really wanted. Maybe he made Justin up because he didn't want to be alone anymore.

Brian closed his eyes and a tear dropped. It couldn’t have been all a dream. Justin was real. He had to be. Brian had fallen in love with him. Justin was real, no matter what anyone said. No matter what Brian himself started to think.

“Hello,” Brian said not giving the phone a chance to ring a second time.

“Hi, Brian, this is Joe Parker. I just wanted to call you about something one of my boys found out. It’s not good,” the man in the other side informed him.

Brian swallowed hard. “Tell me,” he whispered.

“Well, it says here that the Taylor’s left Pittsburgh twenty three years ago. They went to California,” Joe read from the report.

“How is that bad?” Brian asked. If he had to go to California to find Justin he would.

“I’m not finished,” Joe replied.

Brian closed his eyes and waited.

“Eight years after that they had a car accident and died on impact,” Joe told him. “Their son was kidnapped one year before that. The police were pretty sure that they wanted him to sell him to a family with money that couldn’t have children,” Joe told him.

“What now?” Brian asked.

“That’s where we come to an end. I have my boys working on it, Brian, but I highly doubt that we will find anything else to go on,” Joe explained to the man. “He has a new name now which we do not know and we don’t even know if he is alive.”

“Fuck,” Brian hissed. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll call you if I know anything else,” Joe told him before he hung up.

Brian got up and threw the phone against the wall. He looked down and pushed everything away into the floor and whatever was left in the desk he picked it up and threw it across the loft. When he was done he just kept backing away until he reached the wall where his body slumped to the floor.

Brian put his hands on his face and started crying. He couldn’t lose Justin again. Not all over again. He wanted to just disappear into thin air, really have the ground open and swallow him whole. Brian was shaking from the sobs. He kept saying 'no' to nothing or anyone in particular.

Then suddenly Brian started laughing like a mad man and he got up. He laughed and cried at the same time. His shoulders were shaking violently from the sobs and the laughing.

“This must be hell,” Brian said looking up. “You are punishing me aren’t you? I was a fucking asshole to everyone my whole life and this is my punishment, isn’t? Fuck you.”

The door to the loft opened and Michael stared in shock. He blinked a couple of time before he came in. Michael looked around but there wasn't anyone there. “Who the fuck are you talking to, Brian?” he asked his friend.

Brian dropped to his knees and just cried with more force than before if that was even possible.

“I’m so sorry just let him come back, please,” Brian kept saying between sobs. “I’m sorry.”

Michael started crying too as he hugged his friend. Brian had gone off the deep end and jumped into a dark abyss. He didn’t have any fucking clue what the hell Brian was talking about. He just hoped his friend would pull out of whatever he was going through.

***

Brian opened his eyes and looked around. He was in his bed and someone had undressed him and covered him. He sat up and looked around. The loft was completely dark. He could hear Michael talking to someone but he couldn’t understand a thing. Slowly he walked closer making sure that Michael didn’t see him.

“I’m telling you that he is not okay. He just cried until he fucking fell asleep in my arms. He was not high or drunk. Could you just listen to me? Yeah, well, I’m staying the night. He might need my help. I don’t know,” Michael told someone in a hush voice.

Brian started to make some noise to let Michael know he was up. He didn’t want to hear anything else from his friend.

“Look I have to go,” Michael said as Brian came out of the room.

“What are you doing here?” Brian asked.

“Are you okay?” Michael asked the brunet.

Brian walked straight into the kitchen for a bottle of water.

“Brian, you have been acting really strange these past days,” Michael started.

“I’m okay,” Brian cut him off.

“Right,” Michael whispered. “If there was anything wrong you would tell me, right?”

Brian looked at his friend with a weird expression before he nodded. “How long did I sleep?”

“About eight hours straight,” Michael informed him.

“Oh,” Brian muttered.

“Yeah, so do you want me to stay with you?” Michael asked.

Brian smiled and shook his head. “I’m a big boy.”

“Yeah,” Michael answered not sure of what to do next.

“I’ll call you later,” Brian offered.

Michael smiled and said, “Okay then.”

As soon as the door was closed Brian went to his bed. The tears started again only this time they were more controlled. He had to accept the truth. Brian was certain that god really existed and that he hated Brian and would never let him have Justin ever again.

***

Brian sat down on the booth next to Michael. Ted and Emmett were staring at him when Michael cleared his throat and they just looked away. Brian’s appearance was rather common. Not that it was bad to look like that but Brian had always looked marvelous. It was as if the brunet didn’t cared about himself any longer.

“So, Brian, how is it going?” Ted asked.

Brian shrugged. “It’s going,” he replied.

“That’s all you are going to say to me?” Ted asked shocked.

“If you were a little more important I might bother,” Brian said.

“What’s going on boys?” Debbie asked.

“Can I have a cup of coffee, black?” Brian said.

“Sure,” Debbie drawled slowly.  
  
“Thank you,” Brian told her.

Debbie looked at Michael that just shook his head telling her not to ask.

“Hey guys,” Lindsey said. “Do you mind if we join you?”

Brian looked at Lindsey and swallowed hard. Justin was standing in front of him. He couldn’t believe his luck. Brian quickly quit slouching in the seat and sat straight while tugging at his clothes. He ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his face. When Lindsey and Justin sat down he just smiled as widely as he could.

“What’s with you?” Michael asked in Brian’s ear so no one else could hear him.

“What’s your name?” Brian asked Justin already knowing the answer.

“This is Justin Gillard,” Emmett said.

“Gillard?!” Brian asked. “You guys know each other?”

“Brian, calm down,” Michael told him. “He works for me.”

“He what?!” Brian asked screaming at the top of his lungs.

“My god, are you okay?” Lindsey asked.

Brian just nodded. He could not begin to express what he was feeling. Brian’s feelings were all mixed up between rage, calm, excitement, confusion, anxiety, annoyance…etc. But above all Brian was happy, very happy.

“I just started a week ago,” Justin said while giving Brian an odd look.

“Yeah, you were busy with work,” Michael told him.

Brian just nodded and smiled at the irony of it all. It was just like the old lady at the parking lot had said. The world was so fucking big, yet so small.

“So, what are you guys up to?” Emmett asked.

“We are taking a break before we go back to the GLC to put up Justin’s drawings,” Lindsey informed them.

“What can I get you guys?” Debbie asked. “Hey Sunshine, how is it going?”

“Great,” Justin told her smiling. “I’ll have my usual.”

“I want a tuna sandwich and a coke,” Lindsey ordered.

Debbie winked at them before she left.

“Justin is a great artist,” Michael started.

“Yeah, you should come to the opening,” Lindsey told Brian.

“I’ll be there,” Brian told them quickly.

Lindsey smiled happily. Justin gave Lindsey a look about the way Brian was looking at him. Lindsey looked at Brian before she giggled.

“Brian, don’t be looking at him like that. He is straight,” Lindsay said.

“What?” Brian asked his voice echoing through the diner.

The whole diner turned to look at him.

“You are straight? You can’t be straight. That’s not right. Are you? No, of course not, she is just saying that, right? This world is more fucked up than I thought,” Brian said hitting the table.

Everyone in the diner was looking at him like he was insane.

“Brian, I think we should go,” Michael said. “Brian,” he muttered.

Michael was trying to talk to his friend but Brian had started to shake his head while he started talking to himself even thought he wasn't talking loud enough for anyone to hear him.

“Maybe we should call someone,” Ted pointed out.

“You have weird friends,” Justin said laughing.

Brian stopped to look at Justin. He smiled hearing Justin laugh. It was like music to his ears.

“We should have waited for Daphne,” Justin told Lindsay.

“Who’s that? Your best friend,” Brian asked.

“No, she is my girlfriend,” Justin answered.

“Your what?!” Brian asked once again shouting. “You are not straight!”

“Okay then if you say so,” Justin said shaking his head.

Emmett mouthed ‘psycho’ to Ted who was just smiling nonstop.

“I think something happen to you since that accident you had,” Lindsey informed him.

“What accident?” Brian asked still staring at Justin.

“Someone crashed into you three weeks ago, Brian,” Michael told his friend. “Don’t you remember?”

“I think they left you with something more than a concussion,” Ted said.

"Teddy," Emmett said trying not to laugh.

Brian frowned trying to think about what it all meant. He looked at Justin that was talking to Lindsey with a big sunshine smile which he loved so much. The world was right again. Brian pouted and started to think of a plan to make Justin see the light. He needed Justin and he would get Justin and nothing could stop him this time.

**End Notes** : Sorry, if there are any mistakes. I don't have anyone to help me.


	3. Odd Behavior

Brian smiled as he placed the order for the red roses along with the card to go to Justin’s apartment. He was going to win the blond one way or another. So he was going to try to be romantic first. He knew that Justin always liked that.

“Brian?” Michael asked.

“I’m here,” Brian answered.

“What are you doing?” his friend asked.

“I am looking at some files, Mikey. It’s called working,” Brian said sarcastically.

“Ma, sent me to get you. She wants you to be at the family dinner,” Michael informed him.

“Fine,” Brian accepted.

“Really, you are not going to bitch and moan?” Michael asked.

“Nope,” Brian said turning off his new computer. “Let’s go.”

When Michael and Brian arrived at the house everyone else was there. Michelle was sleeping in her little crib. Vic and Ted were talking while Emmett and Justin were watching some show. The girls were in the kitchen cooking.

“We are here, ma,” Michael announced.

“They can fucking see us, Mikey,” Brian said and sat next to Justin. “Hey Sunshine.”

Justin looked at him but didn’t say anything. He was trying to ignore Brian but it was proving difficult, since each time Brian moved he only got closer.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” Justin hissed with annoyance and got up.

Vic looked at Brian and laughed.

“Dinner is ready,” Debbie shouted.

They all sat on the table. Brian made sure that he was next to Justin. Justin made sure to ignore him.

“So, Brian, Justin tells me that you have been spending tons of money on him. I think that’s cute. You have your first crush,” Lindsey said.

“Linds,” Justin grunted.

Brian smiled. “I can’t help it,” Brian said.

“Fucking hell,” Melanie said. “Is he for real?”

Michael nodded. He glared at the blond and rolled his eyes when Justin glared back.

“Wow,” Debbie said. “Too bad Sunshine is not into cock. You guys would have made a cute couple. Now leave him the fuck alone and find someone else to fuck.”

They laughed at Debbie’s words. After that things ran smoothly. Brian was letting Justin have a moment’s peace but he was far from done.

“Who wants dessert?” Debbie asked when she got up.

It didn’t really matter who said yes. She always gave all of them a piece.

“How is PIFA?” Brian asked.

“How did you know I go there?” Justin asked scared.

Brian shrugged.

“I told him,” Michael replied.

“Why did you do that for, Michael?” Justin asked.

“He asked me,” Michael answered.

“That reminds me,” Lindsey said. “Did you bring the sketches you wanted to show me?”

Justin nodded and went up to get them. Brian was about to get up to go after him too but was stopped.

“Don’t even think about it mister. Sit your butt down,” Debbie said.

Justin came back in the house and passed the sketchbook to Lindsey. Melanie and Emmett got closer to Lindsey so they could see too.

“These are great Justin,” Melanie said.

“Thanks,” Justin told her.

“He is a great artist,” Brian commented.

“Could you stop the bullshit for a second?” Debbie said. “It’s just fucking sickening.”

Justin giggled at the way Brian seemed to be shrinking in the chair by Debbie’s glare.

“Check the last one. It's one of my favorites,” Justin said to Lindsey.

Lindsey nodded and found it.

“This is a beautiful piece, Justin,” Lindsey said looking at the drawing of two kids playing in the park.

“He is beautiful,” Brian blurted out. “I bought you something.”

“What?” Justin asked.

Brian smiled and pulled a little box and gave it to Justin. Justin looked at him and rolled his eyes. Everyone else had stopped what they were doing and watched in between horror and amazement at what Brian had said and done.

Justin got up and put the present back in Brian’s hand. “I have to go.”

“Here,” Brian whispered.

“No,” Justin said sternly.

“Fine, I’ll mail it to you,” Brian told him and then smile.

Justin glared at him. “Fuck off!”

Brian just shrugged. It was his turn to go after the blond and just like Justin had never given up on them he wasn’t going to give up on his blond.

“Brian, honey, what has gotten into you?” Debbie asked.

“Cupid,” Vic said laughing with Emmett.

“I’m going to put a restraining order against you,” Justin said.

Brian shrugged again.

“Oh,” Justin said grabbing the box. “Please, please no more presents.”

“Fine,” Brian replied.

“Really?” Justin asked as he arched a brow.

“No,” Brian said and grinned.

Justin turned around and left making sure to slam the door in his way out.

“Brian, what’s with you?” Lindsey asked.

“He is a fucking asshole,” Melanie said.

“Well, I have to go too,” Brian said getting up.

“It’s never too late to stalk someone,” Ted teased.

“Hey, that’s a good idea,” Brian told him and smirked. “One way or another he is going to be my boyfriend.”

Then he left leaving everyone too shell shock to say anything.

***

Justin took a deep breath and knock on the big grey door. He knew he was shaking but he couldn’t tell if it was because he was scared, nervous or just pissed off. When the door opened he took a deep breath and smiled. He went right in and looked around.

“Nice place you have here,” Justin told him.

“Thanks,” Brian said smiling. “You finally came around.”

Justin looked at Brian and shook his head slowly. He took out something from his pocket and then handed it to Brian. Brian arched a brow and crossed him arms.

“Brian, I don’t want your fucking graduation ring. I’m not your boyfriend,” Justin explained.

“You could be,” Brian said smiling.

“Your friends were right when they said you went off the deep end,” Justin said smirking.

Brian frowned and shrugged. “I don’t care what they have to say.”

“Apparently you don’t care what anyone has to say. I have told you a million times to stop fucking sending me stuff but you just don’t listen,” the blond said getting angry.

“I can be pretty stubborn,” Brian told him smiling.

“Please, Brian, just stop,” Justin begged.

“Justin, don’t you fucking see it. Come on now, when I kissed you the other day you got hard,” Brian said walking closer to Justin.

“I did not,” Justin told him trying to sound offended about what Brian was saying.

“Yes you did. Don’t fucking lie,” Brian hissed as he kept on walked to the blond.

Justin started to walk backwards.

“Why did you come here?” Brian asked.

“To tell you to stop,” Justin said.

“You could have done that over the phone,” Brian told him smiling when Justin reached the wall. “Come on, one kiss and you’ll see that I’m right.”

Brian didn’t wait for an answer he just kissed Justin. Brian closed his eyes and enjoyed Justin’s body being so close to him. Suddenly he was pushed back and slapped hard in the face.

“How dare you?” Justin asked outraged.

Brian grabbed Justin by the waist and pulled him towards him crashing their lips together once again. Justin pushed away and slapped him again.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t enjoy that,” Brian said ignoring the sting on his face. He was sure that if Justin hit him again he was going to slap the blond as well.

“You are fucking nuts,” Justin yelled trying to get away.

Brian smiled and kissed him again. When Justin was about to slap him again Brian held his hands. He pushed Justin against the wall and kissed him hard. Brian knew that he had gotten through him when Justin started to moan. Brian smiled and licked Justin’s neck which made Justin arched against Brian.

“Please stop,” Justin said.

“Do you want me to?” Brain asked.

“I can't do this,” Justin whispered.

Brian let go of him and stepped back. “Here,” Brian said giving Justin a card. “Call me.”

Justin frowned but took the card anyways. “I have to go,” Justin said.

Brian nodded and walked with him to the door. He gave Justin a small peck on the lips and smiled when Justin didn’t seem hostile towards him. Justin opened his mouth to say something but then turned around and left. Brian closed the door and put his forehead against the cold steel door. Things were going to be okay, he was going to be okay. They had to be or he would just die.

***

Justin took a deep breath and got in the Jeep. He couldn’t believe he had the nerve to call Brian. He smiled at Brian and put his seatbelt on.

“So where do you want to go to talk?” Brian asked.

“I’m kind of hungry,” Justin said.

Brian smiled and nodded. “I know just the perfect place,” Brian told him and pulled away from the curve.

Justin took another slice and started eating. He had eaten six already and wondered why Brian had only one. He didn't care he was having fun. Justin frowned at the thought of having fun with Brian.

"Do you want me to order you another slice?" Brian asked.

"Mmm, no that's okay,” Justin assured him.

"Well, if you are hungry you should eat,” Brian informed him.

“Wow, first you want to turn me gay and now you want me fat. You are something else I tell you,” Justin joked.

Brian smirked and kept on looking at Justin like if he was from outer space.

"So, umm why do you keep doing this? You waste your money on me and you know you won’t be getting any. You are gorgeous and you can have anyone you want,” Justin said.

"I am choosing whoever I want. I want you,’ Brian told him.

“But you can’t have me, Brian,” Justin replied. “God, you are so fucking strange.”

“So Sunshine,” Brian said smirking. “I’m gorgeous.”

Justin started to turn red. “I…well…I’m an artist. I have a good eye for things like that. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means you think I am gorgeous,” Brian drawled.

Justin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You are so fucking frustrating,” Justin said. “I’m leaving,”

“Fine, I’ll just have to make it up by sending you some flowers,” Brian told him.

Justin looked up and then sat back down. “You know, Daphne is starting to think I have another girl.”

Brian frowned at the mention of Daphne. He was having mix feelings about her too. "Are you ready to go?"

Justin nodded.

“I want you to draw me,” Brian said suddenly.

“Fine,” Justin responded.

“Naked,” Brian added.

“In your dreams,” Justin said getting on the Jeep but laughed regardless.

Brian smirked and got in. They talked about family in the way to Justin’s apartment. Brian was relieved to hear that Justin had a happy childhood. Justin tried to ask Brian about his but Brian didn’t want to talk about it.

“So we are here,” Brian told him killing the engine.

“Bye,” Justin said.

Brian got out and followed Justin. He wanted to take the blond and put him back on the Jeep and take him to the loft and fuck him the whole night. Instead he just walked with him to the door.

"I had tons of fun tonight, Brian,” Justin said smiling.

"Good," Brian said grabbing Justin by the waist loosely. "What do you say we go out tomorrow night?"

“Let me go, Brian,” Justin said.

“Not until my goodnight kiss,” Brian told him.

Justin’s eyes almost fell out of his head. He pushed Brian away and then straightened up.

"Justin, you do want to go out with me again, right?" Brian asked.

“No,” Justin replied.

“Liar,” Brian said smiling. “You hesitated.”

“I did not,” Justin argued.

“Yeah, you did,” Brian said confident.

“Brian,” Justin whined. “Look you are a good friend. That’s all I see in you. I’m sorry.”

“Fine, then when are we going out just to hang?” Brian asked. “Like friends do,”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Justin told him.

Brian took a step back and looked at Justin in wonder. Brian smiled and then got closer.

“A good night kiss and I won’t call you in a whole week,” Brian told him.

Justin looked up stunned at Brian's words. He didn't have time to say anything. He felt Brian's lips on him and he grabbed hold on Brian's arms and didn't let go until the kiss ended.

"Later, baby,” Brian told him in a husky voice.

Justin stood there in shock. He moved back and then he looked at Brian that was grinning.

“Fuck you,” Justin said.

“Maybe later,” Brian told him as he turned to go.

“Stop doing that shit,” Justin said.

Brian laughed.

“I hate you,” Justin announced.

“Did I ever tell you? You can’t lie for shit,” Brian informed him as he walked away from Justin. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"You said you weren't going to,” Justin pointed out to the man.

"I'm a good liar,” Brian said.

Justin let out a strangle scream that came deep from his throat and slammed the door shut. Brian’s smile got bigger.

***

Brian put the empty glass down and asked for another. Emmett and Ted were next to him watching in amusement. Brian kept talking about how Justin didn’t want him.

“What’s going on?” Michael asked when he got there.

“I think Brian reached that point were he has fucked every gay men there is and has moved on to the straight population but it’s proving to be quite difficult,” Ted said. "That and he is drunk."

“Brian, what happen now?” Michael asked with a sigh.

“Fuck off,” Brian grunted.

Michael sat down next to him and smiled. Brian smiled back but the got serious and showed him his middle finger.

“What happened, Brian?” Michael asked. “Just fucking tell me.”

“He didn’t call me. I called him and he said he was fucking straight,” Brian said. “Shit, if I hear that one more time I might just kill myself. That or I will get rid of my dick and get breast implants.”

“Brian, I think you are way past drunk,” Michael said. "Did you take anything?"

“I think he is funny,” Emmett told Ted.

“Fucking nuts, it’s what he is,” Ted said taking a sip of his beer. “At least Justin had the sense of turning away from him.”

“I don’t know what the fuck happened. We were hitting it off so nice. We were becoming friends,” Brian explained.

“Brian, this is not you,” Michael told him.

"He is gay, Mikey. I just know it. You guys know it,” Brian said.

"Maybe he is just not ready to come out,” Ted pointed out.

"Don't think about it, Brian. Just go have some fun. There are a couple of guys checking you out,” Michael said while he looked around.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Mikey. Can’t I fucking brood in peace?” Brian asked.

“Since when do you know a word like that?” Ted asked.

“Ted, just drop dead. I don’t have the energy to be rude to you right now,” Brian said drinking another shot of tequila. “That freaking brat, he needs a fucking spanking.”

Emmett laughed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Michael said. “Fuck him,”

“Is that why you told him that Brian was no good for him? Oops,” Emmett said. "Me and my big mouth."

“What?” Brian asked. “What the fuck, Michael?”

Michael glared at Emmett before he looked back at Brian. “Brian, I’m just trying to help you. You have been acting really strange lately and you don’t need anymore problems.”

“Fuck you, Mikey. You know I can recite the alphabet and get dressed all by my fucking self. I don’t need your fucking help for anything. Do not come between me and Justin ever again,” Brian hissed and stood up.

“Brian,” Michael said.

“No,” Brian yelled. “Stay the fuck away from me, Mikey. I’m fucking pissed at you.”

“Wow, you don’t see this everyday,” Ted said. "I think he might really like Justin."

Emmett took a deep breath and shook his head. He put his beer down and followed Brian out of the bar. When he reached Brian he was about to get on his Jeep.

“Brian,” Emmett called to the man.

“What?” Brian asked mad.

“Yeah,” Emmett said as he nodded.

“Yeah what?” Brian asked frowning.

“He is gay,” Emmett said. He took a deep breath and nodded towards the empty seat.

“Get in,” Brian said. He knew that Emmett knew more than he was letting on.

Emmett got in and smiled.

“Tell me,” Brian could have gotten on his knees and begged.

“Daphne is his girlfriend because he is scared shitless of Mathew, his father. Daphne is his best friend and she knows about him. Brian, he is just scared of losing his family. His older brother Kevin is gay but Mathew and Victoria won’t speak to him because of that, they say Justin is their only son. Justin is just not ready to take that big jump and get away from his family for a guy,” Emmett said.

“Are you fucking serious?” Brian asked with his mouth hanging open.

Emmett nodded.

“But Justin told me he was happy with his family,” Brian said. “He said his family loved him. If that was true they would love him no matter what.”

“Brian, you are a complete stranger to Justin. What the hell do you want him to do? To just broke down and tell you everything?”

Brian frowned and nodded. Emmett was right.

“No one knows Brian. I told you…I don’t know why the fuck I told you. I just know that, well, I feel like you really like him.”

“It’s more than that,” Brian said smiling. “I want to be his partner.”

Brian smiled knowing that it was the truth. He knew how much Justin meant to him and he just wanted to make Justin happy. This time Brian wasn't going to let his baby get away.

“Yeah, I’m still young but having a heart attack is not in my list of things to do,” Emmett said and took a deep breath. “Fuck Brian, what the fuck happened to you after that accident?”

“That’s what I would like to know,” Brian replied.

There was a long silence before Brian spoke again.

“Help me,” Brian whispered.

“What?” Emmett asked.

“Help me win his heart. He is scared shitless of me and now Michael…fuck! God knows what Michael told him and I know that’s not going to help.”

Emmett smiled and nodded. “Fine, but if you break his heart I am going to break your balls.”

“I won't, Emmett,” Brian said.

Emmett smiled and opened the door to the car. “You know, I like you much better like this.”

Brian smiled. He liked himself this way better too.


	4. Persistent

Brian smiled when he saw Justin sitting on the floor at the art gallery where he worked. He walked as silently as he could until he reached Justin. He sat down and smirked when Justin seemed oblivious to him.

“Hey,” Brian said.

“Fuck, you scared the hell out of me,” Justin gasped. “What do you want, asshole?”

“Brian,” Brian said and rolled his eyes. “But if you must insists on calling me something then your highness is okay.”

Justin shook his head. “Do you want me to call you stupid 'cause I could do that?”

Brian frowned. “Not really,” the brunet answered and got closer to Justin. “Here.”

Justin took the bag and looked inside. “Food, this is a new tactic?”

Brian smiled.

“Brian, look I think that maybe we should stop…talking to each other,” Justin said.

“No,” Brian answered.

“Brian,” Justin said.

“Look,” Brian cut the blond before Justin could say anything else. “Forget about whatever Michael told you, okay? He doesn’t know me.”

“He is your best friend,” Justin pointed out.

“He doesn’t know the new me,” Brian drawled.

“Whatever,” Justin said and started to eat the sandwich that Brian had brought him. "Thanks, this is good. I kind of forgot to have lunch."

"You are welcome, Sunshine,” Brian smiled happily.

"Justin," Justin said smiling. "But if you must insist on calling me something then Justin is okay.”

Brian smirked. "So when are we going to go out again, baby?" the man asked.

Justin frowned and put his food down.

“Come on Justin, I’ll do anything,” Brian assured him.

“Yeah right,” Justin muttered.

“Seriously,” Brian told him.

“Brian, why won’t you just leave me alone?” Justin asked.

Brian swallowed and said, “I want to be with you Justin.”

“I’m just going to ignore you now,” Justin informed him.

Brian wanted to fucking spank he brat. “Okay let’s be a couple then.”

“What are you talking about now?” Justin asked taken aback.

Justin asked and his mouth hung open. Justin closed his eyes and shook his head. Brian watched him in amusement.

“Let me get this straight. Since I won’t go out on a date with you, we are going to be a couple. Yeah, because you see that makes so much more sense,” Justin said.

Brian rolled his eyes.

“No, because you think that what I’m just trying to do is fuck you and then dump you. Then we’ll just have to be boyfriends. We’ll hold hands, go to the park and have long walks. We’ll go out to the movies and have dinner with our friends. We’ll buy each other presents and call each other constantly to the point where we get sick of one another. I’ll try to kiss you even thought you are queasy about that. I’m telling you, baby, you don’t appreciate my good looks and talent that well,” Brian related.

“You are such a freak,” Justin said laughing.

Brian smiled. “Can I call you?”

Justin pouted. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

"You look hot when you pout,” Brian said.

"Brain," Justin whined. "Shut the fuck up, people can hear you."

Brian looked around and smiled. He had an idea in mind. “Justin, you are killing me here,” Brian said and tried to kiss Justin.

“Brian, please just stop it. People are watching. Go home, okay. We’ll talk later. I'll call you, promise. Just go,” Justin quickly told him.

Brian nodded and said, “I’m onto you Justin. I know you so like me.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “You sound like a little kid,” replied.

“Call me,” Brian muttered.

“Okay, fine just go,” Justin said looking at the people that were staring at him.

Brian smirked and winked at him. Brian smiled happily that Justin was going to call him back. At least he could hear the blond until he came with the perfect plan. Brian's next stop was Michael's. He had some serious talking to do with his best friend.

***

Brian groaned and came hard. He couldn’t believe he had gotten hard just by thinking about Justin. Brian laughed and shook his head. He took the rag he had put next to himself and got cleaned up.

Brian reached for his cigarette’s but stop and picked his cell phone when it started ringing. He looked at the screen and smiled when he saw Justin's name.

“Hey babe,” Brian said.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Justin asked.

“I’m in thinking about you,” Brian confessed.

“Yeah right,” Justin told him.

“I am,” Brain assured him. “Where are you at?”

“I’m home with my parents. We are having dinner. I think I'll stay the night and tomorrow I'll go home,” Justin informed him.

“Sounds like fun,” Brian drawled.

“Yeah right,” Justin said. “So, how you been?”

“Good,” Brian said taking a cigarette. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I have to go to school and then I am babysitting for Lindsey and Melanie,” Justin said.

Brian smiled and remembered when Justin used to take care of Gus. Brian closed his eyes and wondered if Gus was real. “Can I go see you?”

“No,” Justin answered.

Brian closed his eyes and took a long drag.

“Brian, are you still there?” Justin asked.

“Yeah,” the brunet answered.

“It’s just. You confuse me, Brian,” Justin told him.

“Why?” Brian asked him frowning.

“You make me feel…god damn it,” Justin cursed and rubbed his face.

“What?” Brian asked again.

“I don’t know. You make me feel special,” Justin blurted out. He didn’t know why he was telling Brian all that.

“You are special, Justin,” Brian told him. “I wouldn’t be after you if you weren’t.”

“I…what about what people say?” Justin asked.

“They like to talk shit,” Brian said. “Fuck what people say.”

“Right,” Justin drawled.

Brian rolled his eyes. “I’m going to go see you,” Brian said. “I need to go see you.”

“Fine,” Justin relented.

Brian smiled happily. He was progressing.

***

Brian knocked on the door and waited. It seemed like no one was home. He knocked again and after a while just went in.

“What the fuck do you want?” Justin asked while he picked some of Michelle’s toys.

“I want to fucking check your head, Justin. I have been calling you all day and you didn’t answer me,” Brian said. “Then I come here and you are hostile towards me. Are you having flash backs?” Brian asked arching a brow.

Justin scowled at him. “Fuck off, Brian. Don’t talk to me,” Justin told him angry.

“I’m seriously starting to think that there might be something wrong with you,” Brian said sitting down. “You said I could come and see you.”

“I was fucking mistaken,” Justin said.

“What happened now?”

“I saw you,” Justin informed him.

“What?” Brian asked.

“I went to see you, last night. I don’t know why the fuck,” Justin said. “Emmett told me you were at Woody’s so I went there. Then I saw you with that guy. You were kissing him and whispering in his ear.”

“Fuck,” Brian said rubbing his face.

Justin stopped what he was doing to look at Brian. “I want you to leave,” he told the brunet.

“Justin,” Brian whispered.

“Please, Brian, just go,” Justin said.

“Fine but I’m not going to be out of your life,” Brian said. “I want you to give me a chance.”

“To do what, break my heart?” Justin asked. “I gave you a chance.”

Brian closed his eyes. He could kick himself. He opened his eyes and glared at Justin. “Fuck you,” he hissed.

“Excuse me?” Justin asked taking a step back.

“We are not even together,” Brian said. “So I let a guy suck me. Big fucking deal, it doesn’t mean shit.”

“It did to me,” Justin told him.

Brian ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing. Justin just sat down and watched him.

“Justin, if you were my boyfriend. I would see where this was wrong,” Brian said.

“I can’t trust you, Brian. You are thirty years old. I…I can’t change you. You are not going to change for anyone. You are going to want something that I am not ready to give to you,” Justin related.

“Don’t change me, Justin. Just love me the way I am. You don't see me trying to change you, do you?” Brian asked. "Plus you have been playing me all this time."

"I have not," Justin said sounding indignant.

"You have been pushing me away and letting me come close just to fucking push me away again,” Brian explained. He closed his eyes and smiled at the irony of it. He was being treated just like he had treated Justin.

_"Wake up, asshole!!!" Justin hissed._

"What did you just said?" Brian asked.

"I didn't say anything,” Justin said frowning.

"Yeah you did," Brian contradicted.

"NO! I didn't,” Justin said raising his voice. "Don't change the subject."

Brian rubbed his temples. He knew he had heard Justin. Justin was screaming inside his head.

"Brian, are you okay?" Justin asked biting his lower lip.

"Yeah Justin, look I won't do it again,” Brian said. "I'll try to keep any body parts away from the tricks."

Justin just stared at him.

"What? Say something for fucks sake,” Brian yelled.

“Fuck,” Justin said when Michelle started crying.

Justin walked away and into the stairs but stopped and looked back.

“Go home, I’ll call you,” Justin said before he went up.

Brian stared at the stairs for a long time before he took out his pack of cigarettes and went out. Brian couldn't believe how stupid he had been. How could he do that to Justin? Brian always had known that Justin hated his tricking and he just went right ahead and tricked. Brian got on his Jeep and headed to Woody's. He needed a drink.

***

Brian looked at Emmett and Emmett just stared back. They were running out of ideas and things to try to get Justin to forgive Brian.

“Hello guys,” Daphne said.

“Hey Daphne,” Emmett replied as he looked at her. Then he reacted to her being there. “Daphne?! What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to help you guys out. Justin has told me countless stories on how you two have come up with the weirdest things to make him go out with Brian, yet again. Seriously, I though I was going to die laughing. Brian, honey you need help, a little inside help,” Daphne told him.

“Why are you helping me?” Brian asked.

Daphne smiled and said, “Because every time he tells me the things you do he just smiles a little bit longer and his eyes shine more than ever. He says he hates you but he talks as if you were a king or a fucking god. Plus he is a fucking mess just like you.”

Brian frowned and looked himself over the mirror. Brian smirked realizing he looked horrible.

“So, what’s the plan?” Emmett asked.

“Brian, get yourself clean up,” Daphne said smiling. “Anyways, here are two invitations for tomorrow night.”

“This is the Blue room? Daphne, this is a gay club,” Emmett said. “It’s just outside of Pittsburgh.”

Brian nodded.

“Well, we are renting the place. Kevin’s boyfriend, Rich, is throwing him a surprise party. The place is going to be filled with gay people left and right. You can come and dance with Justin or whatever without him been afraid that someone might see him,” Daphne explained.

“Oh Daphne,” Emmett said getting up to hug her.

When Emmett finished and sat back Daphne leaned over to Brian.

“Hurt him and I’ll fucking break your dick, Brian,” she threatened him.

“Jeez, what the fuck is with the two of you and my private parts?” Brian asked.

Daphne and Emmett laughed.

“We’ll be there, Daph,” Emmett said.

“Good, I’ll see you guys there,” she answered. “Bye,”

Emmett and Brian looked at each other and smiled.

“What are you thinking?” Emmett asked.

“I left the coffee maker on?” Brian asked sarcastically.

“What?” Emmett asked. “No, seriously, what are you thinking?”

“I’m scared, Em,” Brian said. “What if he really hates me?”

Emmett shook his head and smiled at Brian not being able to say anything at all.

***

Brian was fighting with Emmett to be still when Michael came inside the loft. The three of them looked at each other back and forward until Emmett left for the bathroom.

“You guys are spending a lot of time together,” Michael said.

“Yeah,” Brian answered.

“Where are you guys going?” Michael asked.

“I’m going to go see Justin,” Brian replied.

Michael looked away and scoffed.

“What’s that?” Brian asked raising a brow as he looked at his friend.

“You have lost your fucking mind,” Michael said.

“Michael, don’t fucking start,” Brian warned.

“It’s the truth Brian. You are not like this,” Michael told him.

“I know okay,” Brian said taking a deep breath. “But I want to change for him, Mikey. I want to be the man he wants and needs.”

“He is in the closet, Brian. You hate that kind of shit,” Michael hissed.

“I know,” Brian said. “Shit, Mikey, I know all of this. It’s just that it’s him. With him nothing fucking matters. Without him everything is just fucking crazy. I need him.”

“God, Brian I don’t understand you anymore. It’s like you have been fucking abducted by aliens or doing way too many drugs,” Michael said irritated.

“I know,” Brian said smirking.

“Could you stop saying that?” Michael asked.

“Brian, we need to go. It’s nine already,” Emmett said. “Michael, be happy for Brian. He deserves to be it.”

Michael glared at Emmett. “Is just that...that kid its going to hurt Brian,” Michael said.

“Even if he does, I’ll survive, trust me,” Brian assured him.

_“Dada?!” Gus asked._

Brian closed his eyes and tried to make the voice go away. For some reason he could hear Gus’s voice calling out to him.

“Well, uh, have fun, good luck, whatever,” Michael said turning around.

“Hey Mikey,” Brian whispered.

“Yeah,” Michael said.

“Breakfast tomorrow,” Brian told him.

Michael smiled and nodded before he left.

“Do you think he would accept you and Justin?” Emmett asked while Brian helped him with his tie.

“I don’t know but if I have to choose, Mikey is not going to be happy with the results,” Brian said.

Emmett didn’t know what to say.

***

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Emmett kept saying.

“Could you just shut the fuck up?” Brian asked. “Don’t make me kick your ass.”

“But Brian he looks so fucking gorgeous,” Emmett said.

“I know I have eyes,” Brian said and then looked at Emmett from top to bottom. “What the fuck? Stop looking at him.”

“Oh sorry,” Emmett said smirking. “So what do we do now Mr. Green Eye Monster?”

“I’m supposed to go ask him to dance or something,” Brian said. “And I am not jealous. I don’t do jealousy.”

“Right,” Emmett said slowly and sarcastically. He looked at Brian and smiled. "I know what you are thinking,” Emmett informed him.

"Really, that's some fucking ability you have there, since I am not thinking anything at all,” Brian said arching both of his brows.

"Brian, you are thinking negatively. You have to think positive. You are going to go there and he is going to be happy to see you,” Emmett informed him.

Brain looked at Emmett seriously.

"Okay, at least he is not going to pull out a gun and shoot you,” Emmett amended.

“Emmett,” Brian said leaning forward. “Go fuck someone and leave me the fuck alone.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to be here for support,” Emmett pointed out.

“Go support me someplace else,” Brian said.

“I’ll go and get lost in the party as soon as you go to him,” Emmett assured him.

“I can’t,” Brian muttered.

“What? Why?” Emmett asked.

Brian took a deep breath and just watched as Justin laughed with Daphne and two other guys who he was sure were Kevin and Rich. Brian wanted to go out there and dance with his baby but he just kept remembering what had happened the last time he danced with Justin. Brian closed his eyes and a tear felt down. Maybe those memories weren't real after all.

_“He’s crying,” Emmett pointed out._

“Did you say something?” Brian asked.

“What? No,” Emmett told him. “Look you better go there or someone else will.”

Brian nodded and took a deep breath. Brian walked towards Justin that had his back to him. Brian smiled at Daphne who just pretended like she was not seeing him.

“Hey,” Brian whispered.

“Oh my fucking lord. I’m going to put a hit on you,” Justin said. “How did you get in here?”

“Brian Kinney?” Rich asked.

“Richard, it's a small world,” Brian said nodding and turning his attention to Justin.

“Who is he?” Kevin asked.

“We work together,” Rich told them.

“No shit,” Daphne said.

“I’m going to stab myself,” Justin informed them, swallowing the drink he had in his hands in one go.

“And I can drink poison and we could be like Romeo and Juliet,” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear.

“The only thing was that Romeo wasn’t insane,” Justin pointed out.

“Ah, you consider yourself Juliet,” Brian said caressing Justin’s cheek. “That’s cute.”

Justin turned red immediately.

“You are the crazy fuck that has been after Justin?” Rich asked laughing. “I thought you never went after nobody. If I remember correctly you were a cold hearted asshole.”

“I don’t and I am,” Brian said. “Justin is somebody. He is fucking perfect. I act a little more decent when I am around him.”

Daphne shook her head and laughed.

“Hi, I’m Justin’s older brother, Kevin,” the man said menacingly.

Brian and Kevin shook hands.

“What do you want with my little brother?” Kevin asked. “I know what kind of guy you are.”

“You don’t know shit about me,” Brian retorted.

Justin and Daphne looked at each other in shock.

“Look,” Kevin spat out.

“Kevin,” Justin said. “Relax, okay. Brian and I are only friends. Come on Brian. Let’s get you a drink.”

Brian smiled and followed Justin.

“What do you want?” Justin asked when they reached the bar.

“A beer would be okay,” Brian answered.

Justin nodded and asked for it. He handed Brian the beer and then turned around to get something for himself.

“You look amazing, Justin,” Brian told him.

Justin blushed. “T-thanks.”

Brian smiled. “Well, aren’t you going to say I look fucking gorgeous? ‘Cause I do,” Brian said with his tongue in cheek expression.

Justin rolled his eyes and smiled while he nodded. “Brian, you are making my life miserable,” Justin informed the brunet. “And now you come here and you start an argument with my brother.”

“He started it,” Brian pointed out like a little kid.

“Whatever,” Justin said.

Brian put two of his fingers on his mouth and rubbed his lips. He smiled and put his beer down. “One dance, Justin.”

“Brian? Have you gone insane?” Justin asked a bit nervous.

“Justin, look around. No one is going to fucking care if you dance with me,” Brian told him.

Justin frowned and nodded after a while. Brian walked with Justin to the dance floor. As soon as they got there a slow song started to play.

“Did you plan this?” Justin asked.

“It’s pure coincidence baby,” Brian drawled.

Justin closed his eyes and put his head in Brian’s chest. Brian smiled and held him tight.

“Why won’t you give up?” Justin asked.

“I don’t know,” Brian replied.

Justin frowned. “You are nice, Brian. You are not the same guy that everyone talks about.”

“About fucking time you got a clue. That’s what I have been trying to tell you. I have changed,” Brian said.

“I don’t know, Brian,” Justin said.

“Justin, I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you and see your smile everyday. I want to buy you presents and roses because it makes you smile. I want to make love to you each night. I want you to be happy next to me. I know I can make you happy. I want to take you out and show you to everyone. Let them know that we belong together,” the brunet informed him.

Justin pulled back and shook his head.

“Brian, goddamn it you would say anything,” Justin said. “I think you should stay away from me. I fucking hate you. Michael was fucking right. He said you would never do those things with me. That it wasn't fucking you.”

“Justin,” Brian gasped.

“No, Brian. Leave me the fuck alone,” Justin shouted.

Brian stood there and watched as Justin walked away from him.

“What happened?” Emmett asked.

“Justin is fucking bipolar,” Brian said. “Fuck,”

“I’m sorry, Brian,” Emmett said biting his lower lip.

“He felt so good in my arms, Em. I can’t believe this is so fucking hard,” Brian said. “This is why I didn’t want to get involve with anyone in the first place. But no he had to fucking come and turned my life upside down."

Emmett looked at Brian and wondered if Brian's brain could have been affected in any way.

_“He looks okay now,” Michael said._

“What?” Brian asked.

“I didn’t say anything,” Emmett said frowning.

Brian started to massage his temples. He was going nuts. “Let’s just go. I’m going to try that fucking voodoo doll,” Brian said.

“You have one?” Emmett asked walking really fast after Brian that was going pretty fast.

“I’ll buy one. I’ll do whatever it takes Em. But I will have Justin one way or another. We just need to think about this. I’m going to get through his fucking thick skull.”

“Okay,” Emmett replied.

“Emmett,” Brian muttered.

“What?” Emmett asked.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” Brian asked. “Because I am going after him like he was the last man on earth.”

“Yeah, but it’s so romantic,” Emmett said clapping his hands.

“Great help you are,” Brian said turning around and walking ahead.

Emmett caught on with Brian and put his hand on Brian’s hand. Brian looked at him with a glare but when he saw Emmett’s smile and Brian ended up rolling his eyes and smiling. It was kind of romantic, ridiculously romantic.


	5. Only Him

Brian stared at the ceiling thinking if going crazy was worth it. It was only Monday and he knew already that the week was going to fucking torture him. His life just seemed more fucking tedious when he didn’t have Justin by his side. He knew that Justin was going to budge sooner or later but what he didn’t know was if he was going to still be sane when that happened. Brian closed his eyes and tried not to think about the blond.

He had tried everything he could think of to win Justin’s heart but the blond was not budging. He still wondered if what Michael had said had been so bad or if Justin was using it as an excuse. There was a knock on is door and Cynthia came in.

“Gardner wants to see you,” Cynthia informed him.

“Now,” Brian whispered.

“Yeah,” she said.

Brian nodded and got up. He buttoned his suit jacket and started walking when Cynthia stopped him.

“Brian, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Just last week you were bouncing from the walls and now,” Cynthia said and frowned. “Now you are just like the boy who lost his puppy.”

“Leave me the fuck alone,” Brian told her.

“I’m just trying to be a friend here,” Cynthia said.

“I don’t need your fucking pity,” Brian hissed.

“It’s not pity, Brian. You are my boss and my friend and I just want to know that you are okay,” Cynthia assured him. “I just want you to share with me and maybe I could help.”

“My life is fucking insane. I hate it. I hate my fucking life. There, happy?” Brian asked. “I fucking shared. See what you can do about that?” He walked out of the office and into the hall. He closed his eyes and told himself not to cry. He reached Vance’s office and knocked twice before going in.

“Hey Brian,” Vance said.

“You wanted to talk to me,” Brian drawled.

“Yeah, I want to know what’s going on,” Vance told him.

“What are you talking about?” Brian asked sitting down.

“In the last month you have managed to lose three accounts, Brian. You are not giving the company your best,” Vance let him know.

“In the last month I have managed to find six accounts. I have been giving you my best. I have been going through a rough time, Vance. You are lucky I came here and did my fucking best. So if you think it’s going to be better for me to just stay at home and deal with my personal problems you just let me know,” Brian said dryly.

Vance stared at Brian and nodded.

“Is there anything else?” Brian asked trying to keep calm.

“That would be all, Brian. Next time let me know you are having problems. Maybe I can help,” Vance assured him.

“I don’t think so,” Brian said and got up. “I have to go.”

Brian walked out and went to his office to pick up his stuff. He needed to get home and get under the cold shower and stop the headache that was coming. He wanted to break something.

Brian was pissed at Justin for not wanting him. But mostly he was pissed at himself for not being able to make Justin fall for him.

Brian started asking himself what else he could do to bring the blond into his arms. Brian wanted to be able to wake up in the mornings and see Justin’s face. He wanted to feel Justin’s warm body when he fell asleep. He wanted to fight with Justin over stupid things around the loft.

He remembered Justin making breakfast for him and vise versa. He closed his eyes and started to see all the moments he took for granted when Justin was by his side. Brian frowned and wondered what the fuck had happened before.

Brian wanted to know why he had memories of Justin before he even met him. Or why did he get another change to be with Justin again. Brian shook his head and opened the door to the loft.

Brian dropped everything on the floor and closed the door. He went straight into the kitchen and took out a bottle of JB. There was nothing better to help him cope with his problems for the time being. After he had a couple of shots he went straight for the shower.

Under the cold spray Brian let himself cry. He missed his Justin, his old Justin, the one that could take on the world just for Brian. Brian closed his eyes and tried to remember Justin’s smell.

***

Brian scanned the bar and found who he was looking for. He walked directly to his best friend. “Michael,” he said.

“Hey Brian, how is it going?” Michael asked. “I haven’t seen you this past week.”

“What exactly did you fucking tell Justin?” Brian asked angry.

“Brian,” Michael muttered.

“Michael he won’t talk to me,” Brian said. “He says I’m just trying to use him.”

“Well, aren’t you?” Michael asked.

“Fuck Mikey, of course not,” Brian yelled. “I like him a lot.”

Michael swallowed hard and then looked away. Brian rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Why did you do it?” Brian asked.

“I didn’t want to see you get hurt,” Michael answered.

Brian nodded and said, “Thanks but like I said. I’m a big boy.”

Michael smiled and nodded.

“Buy me a beer,” Brian said.

Michael nodded and asked for one. “Here,” he said as he handed the taller man the bottle.

“Thanks,” Brian told him.

“So what are you going to do now?” Michael asked.

“I’m not giving up,” Brian said.

“What’s so fucking special about him?” Michael asked. “He is just a boy.”

Brian shrugged. He wanted to tell Michael that even thought Justin was still young he was the one that would love him. Brian closed his eyes and smiled. Just thinking about the blond make Brian feel like Justin was next to him.

“Hello boys,” Emmett said. “Look who decided to drop in.”

Emmett smiled with his hands on Justin’s shoulder. Daphne was from behind them with her two thumbs up. Brian smiled at Justin and then looked at Emmett.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Michael asked.

Justin drew back.

“Michael, shut the fuck up,” Brian said. “Didn’t we just talk about this?”

“Yeah, you said you could take care of yourself but he is just playing with you,” Michael told Brian angrily.

Justin pushed away and started to walk away from them.

“Justin, wait a minute,” Brian said going after him. “Don’t run away from me again.

“This was a bad idea,” Justin pointed out.

“No, it was a great idea. Trust me. Fuck what Michael has to say. Tell him to fuck off,” Brian instructed him.

“I don’t think I have the guts to do that. He is your best friend,” Justin answered.

“I’m keeping the position open. Want to apply?” Brian asked with a big smile in place.

Justin laughed. “Brian, you are funny,” the blond said.

“Justin, want to come with me to Lindsey’s opening?” Brian asked.

Justin looked up and nodded.

“I promise that I won’t cross into your personal space,” Brian said and chuckled.

“Maybe I want you to,” Justin said but then turned red. “Oh my god, I can’t fucking believe I said that.”

“Me neither but it's good to know,” Brian told him. He pulled Justin to him and kissed him hard.

Brian moaned into the kiss and grabbed Justin's ass. Justin pulled back and smiled.

"Wow," Justin whispered.

"It only gets better baby,” Brian said.

"Let's just take it slow,” Justin replied.

Brian nodded. Justin smiled and looked back towards the bar.

“Don’t think about him, baby. He is just jealous,” Brian assured the blond.

“Jealousy is a pathetic emotion,” Justin said.

Brian smiled and hugged Justin. They were going to be okay.

***

Debbie came out to find Brian, Michael, Justin, Emmett, Daphne and Ted sitting in a booth. She smiled at them and walked quickly towards them. She took their orders and then stopped to take a good look at them.

“You guys look like shit,” Debbie said.

“Thanks,” Justin said.

“Did something happen?” Debbie asked.

“We were in the hospital,” Justin said. “My brother had an accident.”

“You all know him?” Debbie asked.

“Well, Daphne, Emmett and Ted do,” Justin replied.

“I went to give moral support to them,” Michael said.

“Why did you go?” Debbie asked looking at Brian.

“Well, seeing how we are almost family I had to be there,” Brian said.

“What are you talking about?” Debbie asked.

“He and Justin are together,” Ted said.

“What?” Debbie asked yelling from the top of his lungs. “Brian, you…”

“No, wait, you don’t have to say anything. I know, believe me. You are an asshole and what the fuck are you thinking. Justin deserves way much more than you and if you dare hurt him a private part is going to be damage. Stand in line,” Brian told her.

Debbie opened her mouth to say something but she smiled.

“Oh you little shit,” Debbie said before she left.

Justin smiled and kissed Brian on the cheek. Brian looked at him and smirked.

“What made you change your mind about Brian?” Ted asked.

Justin shrugged.

“Emmett told me how much he had change,” Justin said. “Daphne kept saying he was hot. I had to give in.”

“You have very wise friends,” Brian said smirking.

“So are you two boyfriends now?” Daphne asked.

“Brian doesn’t do boyfriends,” Michael said

“Yeah I do,” Brian said glaring at Michael. "And yes we are."

Michael glared back.

“You two make such a cute couple,” Emmett said.

“Please, I’m about to eat,” Michael told them.

“Fuck off, Mikey. If you don’t like it you don’t have to be here,” Brian said.

“You are going to talk to me like that because of him?” Michael asked.

“Justin is with me now, Mikey. You have to respect our relationship,” Brian pointed out.

"The world is going to end. He said the R word,” Ted said as he looked at Emmett.

Brian rolled his eyes and looked away from Michael. Michael frowned and looked at Justin. Suddenly everyone had fallen silent. They were all just looking at everywhere but themselves.

“What’s going on?” Debbie asked coming with their drinks.

“I have to go,” Michael said getting up and walking away.

“What’s with him?” Debbie asked.

Brian shook his head and put his hand on Justin’s thigh. Nothing else matter.


	6. Going In Circles

Brian was sitting on a booth with Michael trying to put some sense into Michael’s head. He wanted Michael to understand that Justin meant a lot to him. Brian wanted Michael to back off so he was just trying to break it to Michael slowly.

“So you mean you actually care about him?” Michael asked.

Brian took a sip of coffee and was about to answer when he started coughing and the cup fell to the floor. He had seen Justin coming into the diner with someone else.

“Brian, are you okay?” Justin asked alarmed.

Justin hit Brian in the back a couple of times and then caressed the spot he hit.

“Breathe,” Justin told him.

Brian nodded. “Thank you,” Brian gasped out. “Fuck.”

“Are you okay?” Michael asked.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Brian asked pointing at the guy that was next to Justin. “Get the fuck out and don’t come back here.”

“You guys know each other?” Justin asked shock written all over his face.

“No,” Ethan answered.

“I know what you want and you are not going to get it,” Brian screamed. “So just fucking leave Justin and me alone. Don’t come near us, don’t call, don’t write, just fucking drop dead.”

“Okay,” Ethan whispered slowly.

“Out,” Brian yelled.

“Brian what the fuck is wrong with you?” Justin asked.

“Hi, I’m Michael and this is my crazy best friend Brian. Don’t let him get to you. A while ago he lost his fucking mind.”

Justin smirked.

“Yeah, he acted as crazy as he is acting now when he met me,” Justin told him snickering.

“I’m Ethan,” he said as he looked at Michael.

Brian glared.

“So, can we sit here?” Justin asked.

“No,” Brian spat out.

“No?” Justin asked.

“You can sit. He can’t,” Brian told him.

"Suddenly I'm having flash backs to when we were thirteen,” Michael said.

"Fuck you too, Mikey,” Brian shouted.

“Wow, and here me thinking we were over these personality crisis episodes,” Justin teased. “Look Brian I don’t know what’s wrong with you today but you are not going to treat my friend like this.”

Justin turned to leave.

“Wait,” Brian yelled while getting up. “Don’t go with him please.”

Justin frowned and heard the fear in Brian’s voice.

“Brian, we just came to have lunch,” Justin explained.

“It’s just that…well it’s…you wouldn’t understand…I…I…he…this one time…well,” Brian said and then closed his mouth and counted to ten in his mind. “Forget it, come on.”

Brian pulled Justin with him and sat down.

“You can sit down Ian,” Brian told him but he didn’t like it one bit.

“It’s Ethan,” the man replied.

“Whatever,” Brian drawled.

“You are being rude, Brian,” Justin told him using a harsh tone.

“Brian is rude,” Michael said.

“No, I think he just has multiple personalities,” Justin said kissing Brian in the cheek. "Today he is being an asshole."

Brian smiled and pulled Justin to him so he could kiss him on the mouth.

“So, what do you do?” Michael asked Ethan.

Ethan looked at Michael and smiled. “I’m a musician,” he answered.

“He’s great,” Justin commented enthusiastically.

“Stop it,” Ethan said smiling. “So ask him?”

“Oh, Ethan is going to be playing at the GLC and he invited us. Do you want to come?” Justin asked.

“I’m not sure I can make it,” Brian spat out.

There was no way that he was going to get caught listening to violin music. Brian knew that he would first jump out of a thirteen story building before listening to Ethan play.

“Well, I’ll save you a seat in case you do make it,” Justin said.

“You are going to go without me?” Brian asked throwing his arms in the air.

“Brian, shut the fuck up. Dead people can hear you,” Michael said.

“What do you mean?” Justin asked. “Ethan’s my friend and I want to support him.”

Brian pushed Justin out of the booth and then got out. He pulled Justin by the hand and almost half dragged him outside the diner.

“Brian!” Justin yelled. “Is it that time of the month again?”

“I don’t want you to be friends with him,” Brian growled.

“Well, fuck you Brian. You don’t own my fucking life. I can be friends with whoever the fuck I want.” Justin screamed back.

Brian looked away. He was losing his patience fast.

“Fuck, Justin, all he wants is to fucking get in your pants,” Brian told him.

“So, what if he does?” Justin asked.

Brian glared. “What do you mean what if he does?” Brian asked throwing his arms in the air like a mad man.

“Brian, calm down,” Justin said.

“I don’t want to calm down,” Brian roared.

“Fuck you,” Justin hissed.

Brian stopped and looked at Justin.

“I can’t believe you, Brian. You go out there and you fuck whoever the hell you want and I have to put up with it. But I have a friend that might want to fuck me and it’s fucking wrong.”

“You...” Brian started.

“Shut the fuck up! I’m talking,” Justin screeched. “I can’t believe you don’t fucking trust me, Brian. I am barely starting a relationship with you that I’m not so sure about. Why the fuck would I want another guy?”

Brian closed his eyes and started to rub his temples.

_“He is looking kind of pale,” Lindsay said._

Brian frowned.

“Brian, are you okay?” Justin asked worried.

“Yeah,” Brian whispered.

_“Maybe he is having a nightmare,” Melanie replied._

“Fuck,” Brian said.

“Justin, is everything okay?” Ethan asked.

“Let's go, Ethan,” Justin hissed. "Brian, I’ll call you.”

“Justin, I don’t want you with him,” Brian whispered.

“Fuck,” Justin yelled frantically. “Weren’t you just listening to me?”

Brian looked away.

“Does he ever listen to anyone?” Michael asked coming out of the diner.

“Michael, stop trying to help me, really. I know what I am doing,” Brian informed him calmly.

Justin looked at Michael and then at Brian.

“Justin,” Brian tried.

“No,” Justin said. “Just…” he said and stopped. He was so mad at Brian. He turned around and left with Ethan.

Brian had the odd feeling that things had taken the wrong path.

***

Justin was trying to draw something but nothing came to mind. He looked around at his classmates that were packing up to leave. He was tired but he was going to stay. He didn’t want to see anyone. Justin just wanted to be alone.

“Hey,” Brian drawled.

“Brian, what the fuck are you doing here?” Justin asked glaring at the older man.

“I came to talk to you,” Brian said.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” Justin murmured.

“Well, you are going to,” Brian informed him.

Justin glared at him.

“I know that I acted like an asshole, Justin,” Brian said.

“I didn’t want to hear it over the phone and I don’t want to hear it now,” Justin informed him getting up. “Just leave me the fuck alone.”

“Justin,” Brian murmured.

“No, Brian. You hurt me. To know that you don’t trust me, hurt me,” Justin told him.

Brian closed his eyes. “It’s just that if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t believe me,” Brian said.

Justin just arched a brow and stood there.

_“I’m sorry for everything,” Justin whispered._

Brian heard Justin’s words and looked up to smile at Justin.

“Why are you smiling at me like that?” Justin asked. “Get the fuck out.”

Brian frowned. He was really losing his mind. Brian needed to get his head examined. He was starting to hear the voices more often. Brian looked back at Justin. First, he was going to have his head checked and then he was going to get Justin back.

***

Brian took a deep breath and tried to relax. Ever since the little argument about Ethan things had just gone down hill. “This is stupid,” Brian yelled.

“Guys, can you please calm down?” Daphne asked. “Justin, your parents are just outside.”

“Brian, please go,” Justin shouted. "The last thing I need if for my parents to find you here. After I have dinner with my parents I'll call you."

"You always say you are going to call, Justin,” Brain hissed.

"Victoria and Mathew wouldn't like you being here, Brian,” Daphne said. "I couldn't even begin to explain your presence."

"I don't fucking care,” Brian grunted.

"Then you call me later but just fucking leave,” Justin said angry.

“Fine, I just wanted to tell you that I know what you have been doing. You are a fucking coward. You are scared shitless of actually trying being in a relationship,” Brian hissed.

“Yeah, I’m the one that always screws up,” Justin mocked.

“No but someday you might and I would still be there for you,” Brian told him. “You just care too much what other people think of you to actually want this relationship to work.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Justin told him.

Brian laughed and shook his head. “You are scared shitless of what other people think of you. I have seen it when I try to grab your hand or kiss you in public. You are so into making yourself the perfect son so your family is happy that you are giving your own happiness away.”

Daphne bit her lower lip and looked at Brian and then at Justin. Justin looked away.

“You almost had me going too. At first I though you really didn’t like me. Thank god I listened to my heart. I knew something was wrong. All this time you haven’t been anything but a fucking hypocrite,” Brian informed him.

“You don’t know anything,” Justin yelled and put his hand on his mouth when someone knocked on the door.

“Is everything alright, Justin?” Victoria asked.

“Yes, Mrs. Gillard,” Daphne yelled. “We are just talking about something.”

“Okay,” Victoria said and left.

“You know what I think of someone that hides who he is. I think that they are not worth my time,” Brian told him.

“Brian,” Daphne said shocked.

Brian looked away and then back at Justin. “Don’t worry Daphne, he is different. Justin, for you I would wait forever if that’s what it would take for you to show the world who you are. I would love you secretly everyday of my life. I would be there for you when you need me. As long as I have you in my arms, nothing else would fucking matter to me.”

Brian moved forward to kiss Justin but stopped and managed to get out a smile. Justin swallowed hard.

“I forgot you don’t like me kissing you in public. Daphne is here. I’ll leave the two of you alone now. But so you know. It’s far from over,” Brian said.

Brian moved to the window to climb out the way he had gotten in. He looked back one more time to see that Justin was staring at the floor not moving at all. Brian shook his head and kept on going.

***

Brian sat next to Justin and gave him a weak smile. Justin frowned but didn’t say anything. It had been like that for over two weeks. Brian would come and see Justin. Just sit next to him or stand or follow him or call him but he wouldn’t say anything. Every time he left he would kiss Justin on the cheek and smile sadly.

“Brian, umm remember when I used to say that you were scaring me and all that?” Justin asked.

Brian nodded.

“Well, this is not helping,” Justin said. “I think I liked you better when you were this mad man on a mission. I liked it when we were together. We are fucking killing each other here. Brian, we both have strong personalities. I don’t think we are going to work.”

“I’m going to wait,” Brian told him.

“For what?” Justin asked.

“For when you are ready, Justin,” Brian told him. “I’ll be here. I already told you.”

“I can’t believe you,” Justin said. “You need professional help.”

“And you need your fucking heart examine,” Brian said angrily. “Just make sure is not made out of fucking pieces of wood and rock.”

Justin glared at him. “Fuck you, Brian. I never asked you to fall for me. I never wanted you in the first place.”

Brian laughed. “Funny you should say that. If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me a story about this little blond who used to stalk me all the time.”

“Don’t tell me, you learned everything you know from him?” Justin asked.

Brian smirked and looked at Justin who was looking at the painting he just hung up.

“You are so beautiful, Justin,” Brian whispered.

“Thanks,” Justin said. “You smell like alcohol. Have you been drinking again?”

“I drank a little,” Brian informed him.

Justin closed his eyes. Brian looked drained.

“Brian, this is not healthy for either of us,” Justin told him.

“Why? Why can’t you be with me?” Brian asked his eyes watering.

“God damn it Brian,” Justin shrieked.

Justin quickly looked around the gallery making sure no one was looking at them.

“I know you like me, Justin. I just can’t fucking understand why would you want to push me away,” Brian said. “I don’t stink do I?”

Justin half laughed. “I’m sorry. Brian but I just don’t want you.”

Brian closed his eyes and swallowed Justin’s words like poison. “That’s bullshit and you know it!”

“It’s the truth,” Justin said calmly. “At first I thought I did. It was exciting but this isn’t for me.”

Brian just stared at him in shock.

“Look I have to go, okay,” Justin said walking away.

Brian frowned and racked his brain over and over again. He couldn’t believe that he had lost the battle. He didn’t have anything else left in him. He just couldn’t take seeing Justin anymore and not being able to love him, to just hold him. Brian closed his eyes and got up and started walking. He had no place to go. He was empty.


	7. The Truth

Brian opened the loft door and stood there in shock. His whole body was trembling and he wasn’t sure that blinking was such a good idea. Justin could disappear from his sight if he did.

“Can I come in?” Justin asked.

Brian moved to the side and nodded.

“Are you alone?” Justin asked.

“Yeah,” Brian told him.

“I need to talk to you,” Justin informed him.

Brian just walked to the kitchen where the island was filled with all kinds of alcohol. Justin could tell that Brian wasn’t drunk but he wasn’t that sober either.

“What is it?” Brian asked.

“I was thinking about what you said to me,” Justin said. “Something happened that day.”

“What? You started jumping up and down ecstatic that I was out of your life?” Brian snarled.

Justin smiled sadly. “I thought I was going to but when you walked away from me I just felt sick. I felt empty. I hated myself for pushing you away,” Justin said. “Then you started to come around and just sit there and you wouldn’t say anything. At first I thought you were nuts and then you just stopped coming. Part of me hated you for listening to me. I actually missed you.”

Brian looked up and frowned. “Stop playing with me, Justin. You can’t keep doing this. It’s fucking driving me crazy.”

“I know Brian,” Justin said and bit his lower lip. “You were right.”

“I was?” Brian asked surprised.

“Yeah, I was afraid. Shit, I’m fucking terrified,” Justin explained. He walked closer to Brian.

“You are not the first guy that I have ever wanted to be with. There was James and then Chris but I always was way too scared to do anything about it. Then you came alone and you turned my world upside down. You are the most persistent person I have ever met.”

Brian smirked but kept quiet.

“That’s not even the point,” Justin said. “I could have kept on ignoring you forever.”

“No shit,” Brian said and smirked.

Justin smiled. “It’s just that you have been the first guy to call me on my shit, the only one to tell me out loud the truth about myself. And that fucking scares me. I feel like you know me so fucking well. I think I’m falling for you, Brian,” Justin declared and a tear fell down.

“Justin,” Brian said putting the bottle down and walking towards Justin.

“I am scared that my parents are going to hate me and that after all you’ll just break my heart,” Justin said. “That it would all be for nothing.”

Brian hugged Justin to him when Justin started crying more strongly. He just kept rubbing circles around Justin’s back.

“Shh, I’m not going to. I can’t. I don’t want to lose you,” Brian assured him.

“You don’t know that, Brian,” Justin pointed out.

“Oh believe me. I do. I would give my life before hurting you. You are the first man that I have ever lo…felt like this for. Yeah, it’s true what Michael said. I am an asshole. I do fuck everything that moves or at least used to. I don’t care about what anyone has to say. I’m always brutally honest and I won't lie for anyone,” Brian said. “I always do what I want. I don’t take shit from anyone. I’ll do anything to get what I want…blah, blah, blah.”

Justin cringed at what Brian was saying. He looked away from Brian and took a step back.

“Justin, look at me,” Brian instructed him.

Justin looked up.

“It doesn’t stop me from being human, for acting like a fool when I am around you. You make me want to be a whole new man. I want to be better just to be the kind of man you need. Hell, Justin, these past couple of weeks I have done things that I would have never in my entire life dreamed of doing, but for you, baby, God, for you I would do anything,” Brian said. “I climbed a fucking tree for you.”

Justin smirked and nodded. “So, you would even go as far as hiding our relationship?” Justin asked.

Brian took a deep breath and nodded. “Justin, as long as I have you, nothing else matters.”

Justin smiled and hugged Brian to him.

“Wow, we must look like a couple of fucking lesbians,” Brian said letting a tear fall.

“Shut the fuck up. You are ruining the moment,” Justin told him.

Brian laughed. He had Justin back in his arms. Everything was perfect.

***

“Are you sure about this?” Brian asked as he kissed Justin’s neck.

“Yes,” Justin answered. His hands gripped Brian’s arms as the brunet pushed inside of him.

Brian was home. He had waited so long to have Justin again and now he had. He loved each minute of it.

“Brian,” Justin hissed.

“The pain will go away,” Brian assured him. “It will be okay.”

Justin wrapped his arms around the brunet and trusted him. In a few minutes he was feeling so good. Then Brian pulled out and pushed back inside.

“Oh god,” Justin groaned. “Fuck!”

Brian kissed Justin very slowly. He was enjoying his blond to the max. He was so happy to have the smaller man’s in his arms.

“I love you,” Justin uttered in a low voice.

Brian relished in those words. He could have shouted with happiness he loved the blond but didn’t. He preferred to show Justin with his touches and kissed. He made love to the blond trying to be as carefully as possible.

“Brian!” Justin yelled. He wanted more and more. “I need you.”

“I’m here,” Brian assured him. His pace started to accelerate. He wanted it to last forever but knew it wasn’t possible.

Justin moaned as Brian grabbed his cock. He was in heaven. He opened his eyes briefly and stared at Brian’s face. The man was so beautiful.

“Jus,” Brian grunted when his orgasm neared.

Justin arched his body as he started to cum. Brian kissed the blond hard and let go of his control. The two of them shook and moan as they held to one another.

“Brian,” Justin sighed with happiness when he opened his eyes again.

Brian was smiling.

Justin caressed Brian’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Brian pulled out of Justin slowly. He regretted it immediately.

“This was amazing,” Justin told him.

Brian took off the condom and threw it away. He got on top of Justin and kissed him hard.

“I loved the way you felt inside of me,” Justin told him.

“It was amazing,” Brian replied.

They stay kissing and caressing each other for a while. Justin looked around and then sighed.

“It’s late,” Justin whispered.

Brian nodded. He caressed Justin’s cheek before he kissed him.

“I should be going,” Justin said.

“Stay here,” Brian told him.

Justin kissed him and nodded. A little while later they showed each other how much they loved one another once again.

***

Brian smiled as Emmett came into the diner with a guy holding his hand. They sat in front of Brian and Justin and the guy put an arm around Emmett’s shoulder.

“Guys, this is William, Billy these are my friends, Brian and Justin,” Emmett said.

“It’s nice to meet you,” William said.

Brian nodded.

_“I swear to god he is smiling,” Michael said._

Brian looked back to see if he could see Michael. He had heard him. Brian closed his eyes and wondered if he was going crazy. He had gone to the doctor but apparently he was one hundred percent fine. Brian didn’t know what the hell was going on inside his head.

“Brian, are you okay?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, I’m the happiest man in the world,” Brian told him kissing him.

Justin smiled.

“So have you guys done it?” Emmett asked.

Justin started to turn red and Brian just burst out laughing.

“Yeah, you should have seen him. Justin was frightened of my nine inch dick,” Brian said.

Justin’s mouth opened wide and he turned even redder than he was. “I can’t believe you said that and in front of them no less,” Justin yelled.

Brian laughed.

“Don’t be such a prude,” Emmett said smirking.

“I am not a prude,” Justin said defensively. “I’m just…”

“It’s okay Sunshine,” Brian said kissing him hard. “God, I could eat you up.”

“So what are you guys doing today?” Emmett asked.

“We have a date,” Justin said. “Brian is dead set on these things.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “It’s a very important part of a healthy relationship,” Brian said.

Justin rolled his eyes.

“You now, when you started going after Justin I thought you were just trying to scare the shit out of us. Then when you were with him, I had the shit scared out of me, believe me. I thought then that the world was actually going to end. But I saw you Brian. I saw the real you and I liked it,” Emmett said. “I’m happy for you two.”

Brian smiled and nodded.

"Guess the Brian Kinney we all knew and loved is gone for good,” William said.

“He still can be an asshole, sometimes,” Justin said.

They laughed while Brian shook his head.

"So where did you two meet?" Brian asked.

"Woody’s," William said. "I look across the room and there was Emmett. The most gorgeous man that I have ever seen. Do you know what I mean?"

Brian looked at Justin and smiled. He knew exactly what William meant.

“What is he doing here?” Michael asked.

“Don’t you know other fucking questions?” Brian asked.

“I just thought you two broke up,” Michael said sitting down.

“We got back together,” Brian stated.

“Brian, he is just playing with you,” Michael insisted. “He is using you like a puppet. He wants you and then he changes his mind and then oh no wait he wants you again.”

Justin started to turn red and didn’t know where to look.

“Fuck you, Michael,” Brian shouted.

The whole diner felt silent. After a couple of seconds Michael got up.

“I have to go. There is something I need to do,” Michael said.

“Wow,” Emmett said.

“I’m sorry, Brian,” Justin said.

“It’s okay,” Brian assured his blond.

“He is you best friend, Brian. I didn’t want to cause any problems for you,” Justin explained.

Brian shrugged. “I can cope with Michael not being there,” Brian said. “But there are things that I can’t live without.”

Justin smiled and kissed him.

***

Brian walked to Justin’s apartment and knocked three times. Justin came out looking very gloomy.

“Brian,” Justin gasped out.

“Justin, what’s wrong?” Brian asked. “Baby, have you been crying?”

“They found out,” Justin sobbed. “Someone told them.”

Brian pulled Justin into a hug.

“They hate me Brian. They say I am going to hell if I don’t stop this,” Justin said crying.

“Fuck them, it’s not true and even if it was I would still be with you,” Brian said.

Brian smirked and Justin smiled a little and buried his face in Brian’s chest.

“What’s going on?” Mrs. Gillard asked from inside the house.

Brian frowned and walked in even though Justin was trying to push him out.

“Is that him?” Justin’s mom asked.

Brian just stared at Justin’s parents. Justin bit his lower lip and held on to Brian’s hand. Brian felt a chill in the back of his spine.

“We want you to stop seeing our son,” Mr. Gillard said.

“Have you gone fucking insane?” Brian asked. “Do you know all the shit I went through just to get one date? Let along everything else. I am not going anywhere.”

“Justin, honey he is using you,” Victoria said.

“No he is not mom,” Justin said.

“A man your age shouldn’t have anything to do with an eighteen year old boy,” Mathew said. “What, you know he comes from a family with money and you want a piece of it?”

“That’s not true. I don’t need any fucking money from you or him. I am with Justin because I love him,” Brian growled. He started to feel dizzy.

_“I still have hope left he is going to come around,” Justin muttered._

“Mom, dad, Brian is a partner at one of Pittsburgh’s best advertising agencies,” Justin said. "He doesn't need money. I am not a stupid kid. I know what I am doing."

Mathew and Victoria looked at each other.

_“I think he is too,” Ben agreed._

Brian looked around and wondered what the fuck was going on. He could have sworn he had heard Ben’s voice.

“Brian, are you okay?” Justin asked.

Brian looked at Justin while Justin returned the look with a smile. Brian was seeing everything a little blurry. He smiled at Justin and caressed his face. “I love you,” Brian said.

Justin smiled brightly but everything went black for Brian.


	8. The Real World

Brian opened his eyes and closed them again. Everything was so bright. He wanted to move but he felt like he was strapped down. He really started to think Michael had committed him to a mental institution.  
  
“Oh my god, I think he is waking up,” Michael yelled.  
  
Brian opened his eyes again and blinked a few times.  
  
“Brian? Oh my god, Brian!” Michael screamed. “I can’t believe you are up. I just came to see how you were doing and if there were any changes and here you are. Fuck, this is great. I’m going to call everyone.”  
  
“Michael, what the fuck is going on? I was just with Justin and his mom and dad and we were talking. I know we were,” Brian said a little bit frantic. “Where are they?”  
  
“What the fuck are you talking about, Brian?” Michael asked puzzled.   
  
“I’m sure it’s just a dream,” Ben said.  
  
“Oh well, the doctor said you were going to be a little out of it. So I guess you are okay. I think…mmhm…I’m going to go get him and then I’ll call everyone else, okay. Emmett is just outside. I’ll tell him the good news,” Michael said.  
  
Brian closed his eyes and blinked a few times. He was not going to freak out. Nope, he wasn’t going to. He was just going to stay calm and pretend like everything was okay because there was no way in hell that he was back to square one. He couldn’t be in a place where there was no Justin. He was definitely going to kill someone as soon as he could move again.   
  
Brian waited for what it seemed like hours. Ben had gone out of the room after Michael. The doctor came and told him he was okay. That he could start treatment at soon as possible. Dr. Henderson informed him of how he had a heart attack and later on he had fallen into a coma. Brian just stayed there in silence wondering what the fuck was going on.  
  
The first visitors to come inside after Ben and Michael were Ted, Emmett and some guy. Brian looked at them for a while and if he could have moved he would have jumped from the bed when Emmett kissed the stranger.  
  
“What the fuck are you doing?” Brian asked. “Why are you kissing him, Emm?”  
  
“Because he is my boyfriend, Brian, oh I’m sorry. Jake this is Brian, Brian this is Jake,” Emmett introduced them.  
  
“Hi,” Jake said.  
  
“He can’t be!” Brian yelled.  
  
“Brian is just jealous that he isn’t getting any right now,” Ted said smirking.   
  
“What happened to Bill?” Brian asked.  
  
“Or just plain fucking crazy,” Ted amended.  
  
“Who’s Bill?” Michael asked. “Is that one of your tricks, Brian? How come you remember his name?”  
  
Brian shut his eyes and knew he was in hell. It had to be. There was no other explanation as to why they kept shifting him from one world to the other and always taking Justin out of the equation. Brian started crying even though his friends were standing right there. He didn’t care anymore. All he wanted was Justin and Justin wasn’t there.  
  
“Brian, are you okay?” Emmett asked.  
  
“The doctor said it would be a while before he was himself again,” Michael said.  
  
“Hey,” Lindsey said coming in. “Brian, how are you doing?”  
  
Debbie, Vic and Melanie were just coming after Lindsey.  
  
“Leave me alone. All of you just leave me the fuck alone,” Brian screamed.  
  
“Well, the shit never changes,” Debbie grumped out.   
  
“Daddy,” Gus yelled.  
  
Brian looked at Gus and was shocked to say the least. At least he had his son back. He didn’t know what was happening anymore. There had to be an explanation somewhere.  
  
“Do you remember what happened?” Lindsey asked.  
  
“No, I have no fucking idea what’s going on,” Brian said miserably.  
  
“Could you please not talk like that in front of Gus?” Melanie asked while she sat down with Gus.   
  
“After the accident, you had a heart attack,” Lindsey said. “You died Brian and thank god Michael told them to resuscitate you. Thank god you were smart enough to leave him in charge.”  
  
“What accident?” Brian asked.  
  
“You were with Justin and he pushed you out of the way,” Ted said. “At least that’s what the witnesses to the accident said.”   
  
“I guess it was a little too much for you to handle, to see Justin getting hurt again,” Lindsey said. “You are waking up now after almost eight and a half months.”  
  
“That’s why I cannot move?” Brian asked.  
  
“Yeah, the doctor said that you were going to be okay. All you have to do is do your part and follow orders as hard as that might sound. You just need to be strong, Brian. Everything is going to be okay,” Lindsey said.  
  
“Plus you have us to help you,” Vic said.  
  
Brian closed his eyes trying to remember what happened that day. He couldn’t tell what was real and what had been nothing but a dream anymore. He couldn’t remember if he really had gone to Justin’s funeral or if he had dreamt it. Brian was too afraid to ask. He didn’t wanted to hear if Justin was alive or dead or just a fiction of his imagination.   
  
“Brian, are you okay?” Michael asked.  
  
Brian started crying and closed his eyes. He wanted his life to be back to normal with Justin by his side. The only problem was that he didn’t know what normal was anymore.   
  
***  
  
Brian opened his eyes to people arguing.  
  
“You shut the fuck up, Michael. I don’t care what you have to say. I am not going anywhere and if you dare tell the doctor that I am here I might beat you with my fucking cane,” Justin said.   
  
“Justin,” Brian gasped out.  
  
“Brian,” Justin said and walked as fast as he could over to where Brian was. “How are you doing?”  
  
“You are here,” Brian muttered.  
  
Justin smiled and nodded. “Of course I’m here, where else would I be?” Justin asked kissing Brian on the lips.  
  
Brian smiled happily even though tears were falling down his face. He didn’t care if he was dreaming or hallucinating. He had Justin next to him.   
  
“Where were you, Sunshine?” Brian asked.  
  
“I was in my room. Michael didn’t tell me that you woke up,” Justin said raising his voice while he glared at Michael.  
  
Brian looked at Justin’s left eyebrow. There was a new scar there.  
  
“Because you got hit pretty fucking bad and you needed your rest,” Michael said. “You almost died, Justin.”  
  
“But I didn’t,” Justin hissed. “And I’m better now!”  
  
“But you almost did, you asshole,” Michael argued. “The doctor said you needed to rest. After all that progress you don’t want to throw it away.”  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, Michael, so fuck off,” Justin told him. “I’m not some little weak faggot. So just leave me the fuck alone. I want to see Brian and I am going to see Brian.”   
  
“It’s not like he is going anywhere,” Michael said.  
  
“You are just jealous,” Justin replied.  
  
“Not of you,” Michael said.   
  
Brian would have been annoyed any other time, he would have told both of them to get the fuck out but now it was different. Brian looked at his boyfriend and his best friend and smiled. Things were back to normal. He had Justin at his side where he belonged. All this time while he was in a coma he had been dreaming.   
  
All of his dreams, hopes and fears had played out in his mind. He guessed that once he was strong enough to admit to himself that he loved Justin, his mind let go of him and he woke up.   
  
Brian smiled thinking of the day he would tell Justin. He could almost imagine Justin’s big smile. Brian was going to wait until he could move again. He wanted to hold Justin in his arms while he told the blond he was in love with him.  
  
“You are being such a brat,” Michael said.  
  
Justin just stuck his tongue out.   
  
“I’m going to call mom,” Michael said.  
  
“You are such a tattletale,” Justin yelled.   
  
Brian watched happily.   
  
“I’m leaving,” Michael said.  
  
“Good,” Justin said.  
  
Brian was surprised but happy that Justin was trying to climb in bed with him.  
  
“There is not that much space, Sunshine,” Brian said.   
  
“The closer the better,” Justin said.  
  
Brain nodded and watched as Justin smiled brightly. This time the room lit up completely. Brian knew he was where he was supposed to be. And this time around he was going to make things right.  


 

**End Notes** : I want to give big thanks to Rocketta. You helped me tons and I am glad you did. Boy did some things just sounded weird huh? Across his face??? Thank god you saw that. lol...I laughed hard about it. Anyways thanks to everyone that liked the story and told me so.


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